Back to Basics

So yeah, my bass probably deserves some TLC after helping me get through the last Suffering Song, it took me far and wide on an unforgettable  journey while helping me dealing with the residual pain, helped me realize I really loved the feeling, and that will be repeated in due time.
For now I’ve started working out, oh yeah, on the gym, horrible horrible pains but all worth when you see your old self slowly draining away, giving you possibilities of what can and what will be. It’s wonderful when you got friends to support you even when you wanted to just lay down and die.
And lately I’ve returned to an old acquaintance  to help me spend a bit of my free time AND, this is a BIG and, I think I might have found the first game to give me the feelz in the longest time.

Transistor

Yes, this wonderful game by Supergiant, I am quite positive that it will make me a better person one way or another when I’m done with it. The story is just superb even though messy, confusing and not thrown in your face, it makes you go out of your way to find it, to understand it, and to try and recover Red’s voice. Ashley Barrett’s work in here is just phenomenal.
Recently I met a girl who I thought had the sweetest singing voice in the world. Well, I was quite wrong, Ashley Barrett outperforms her by a country mile. Specially when you consider all the nuances and emotions inflicted while articulating the lyrics.

If the music on the video below doesn’t grab you by the heart and twist it even a little, then you are doing something wrong, very wrong.
Or maybe I’m the stupid one trying to find meaning where there is none and this post has been a mad rant all along.

Anúncios

Epílogo

“Been dying for a sign when faith has been on the line
When you find your love on wasted grounds
You’re taking to the sound, it’s shelter from the rain”- Tobias Sammet, Shelter from the Rain

Well, after what I knew was coming and tried as hard as I could to ignore or delay it, fate caught up with me a couple of days ago.
We all know how it ends, don’t we?
48h of pure agony, except it wasn’t. I had some backup from unexpected people and places. Even some unexcepted ones and yet all of them told me given time the stomach knot, the pain, the feeling of dead and despair would come to pass.
And it’s come to, well, most of it. There’s still a lingering sensation and every time I see her pic I still get some unexplainable feeling that fades away as fast as it came.Well, I’ve been also told that you’ll remember it for the rest of your life even if it doesn’t hurt.
HOW THE FUCK DO PEOPLE LIVE THAT WAY?!
Well, I’m way better now, past it, with eyes back to normal, still wondering how I got myself into that crazy situation. Well, as it goes, blindness ensued, but not anymore Dana.
Even though I knew what was happening, I tried to keep myself believing it was my imagination, that I was not doing anything wrong, that eventually everything would settle

Well, as it went, the last day was wonderful before it came to a crashing halt, that’s due to the fact that even though it was labelled as an illusion by not me, I finally felt like I had had my feelings corresponded, and it was bloody amazing!
Right now I don’t have the guts to just text you and ask for the text you wrote while thinking about me, or the eventual texts you might come to write and not feel like sending me them.
You know who you are, and if you ever read this, you got my number and my contacts, just give me a hello and I’ll give you my email if you can’t pluck it from my social media profile so I can have that text. It was wonderful even if you denied all those feelings to my face, even if you wished they were true.

This is the first time I’ve felt strong enough to write withouth feeling shit about myself or about the outcome. So, for now, Farewell

So long, and thanks for all the… wait a second!

E hoje é o famoso Towel Day.
Vontade de sair com uma na mala é grande, mas a vergonha e saber que você vai gastar 40 minutos explicando pra cada pessoa que te ver o porque você está carregando uma toalha é maior.
Talvez um dia eu consiga adquirir a tão famigerada toalha vermelha com letras brancas garrafais formando um belíssimo “Don’t Panic”, aí eu acho que terei a coragem de sair com ela na mala.

E um excerto página 572, Omnibus HHGTTG:
“… that if they were not going to let the force of gravity bother them, then mere cold or paucity of atmosphere could go an whistle.(…)
… turning slowly, in a kind of speechless T-shape, which might have caused even a Fuolornis Fire Dragon, had one flown past, replete with pizza, to flap its wings and cough a little.
(…)
The following night they did it all over again, only this time with Sony Walkmen.”

Por essas e outras que eu acho Douglas Adams um dos maiores escritores de fantasia que existiu.
Therefore, So Long, and thanks for all the memories.

Who’d know

Who would have known that I’d need to be using this back again.
I seriously didn’t expect I’d ever need to resort to this little shady corner of the internetz where I can write all I ever thought about without giving a single fuck about it.
Well, things finally seem to be moving along fine. But then again, fucking shitty head allied with poor self-esteem always ends up with you thinking you are not worthy or you have done bad shit.
Then again, I couldn’t quite possibly have been happier than yesterday. Was an amazing day, I just wish I could have told her all about it and just how so goddamn happy I was and how much I loved  the ending, even if (then again, WTB Self-esteem, PM $) I still think I fucked it up and could have done it better. I never guessed I would have been the one who’d have caved into one’s own feelings first.
Well, I wouldn’t really know, I can’t ask her yet, if ever, about some stuff because apparently it will scare her off. And that’s the last thing I’d want, not when I feel like my life is moving along so nice. You see, nice is different from smooth since I’ve always had an eye for the complicated ones, and I owe this to my friends for that extra push I needed, I don’t know if I would have had the courage to step it up to this point.
Right now I’m writing this to try and alleviate the anguish stuck inside my chest, because you just wanted to hug her and never let go, if possible you would have stayed hugging her for more than you did, probably even fallen asleep by her side whilst doing so. And shit is bound to happen, and you will feel impotent, when you just wanted to move the world to make it more comfy for her.
I guess that is what love really is.
Last, but not least, thank god this end of the internet exists, and even though I have it listed on some pretty visible places, even ones where she could find it, she never will because reasons. TBH, I do expect her to find and read it, probably in due time when her vocabulary is good enough.
One last thing, I only hope I can get strong enough in less than an year, because I know that is when she’s moving away, and it will hurt like a motherfucker! Right now I wouldn’t be able to handle that, perhaps in due time I shall find it out and hopefully post how I dealt with it in here.
Till then, this has been the shittiest blog of the world most unstable nerd in the world trying to get some self-esteem beaten into his body so he can live a better life in this world.
Laters. o/~

Sobre a qualidade musical do Spotify

Acho que só 1 ou 2 aqui (se muito) irão entender a mensagem, mas PUTA QUE ME PARIU! Essa qualidade de audio do Spotify pra Classical Masterworks é horrenda, Não há profunidade, sem soundstage algum, e a compressão é tanta que mata metade dos instrumentos.
Me sinto como se estivesse ouvindo um “bom” e velho MP3 devolta em 1999.
Talvez essa qualidade seja aceitável se você estiver ouvindo em um Phillips de 15pila ou com a cabeça parcialmente imersa em um vaso sanitário que fora utilizado num passado próximo. Aliás, talvez eles tenham capturado a música de dentro de uma privada de posto de gasolina enquanto ela era tocada através de um fone phillips de 15pila.
Pensando bem, esse post está sendo migrado do FB pro WordPress de tão grande e também há a necessidade de incluir 1 ou 2 imagens para comparação.

Não vou nem entrar na discussão de 44.1kHz 16bit vs 42kHz 32bit floating point pra não virar muito mimimi.

Vou deixar apenas a imagem abaixo comparando a Beethoven – Symphony no.5 in C minor op.67 by Herbert von Karajan com a Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody MFSL enquanto eu faço a recuperação da minha coleção de clássicas já que ela sofreu baixas.

compmsk
Cliquem para ampliar

PS: E essa compressão hein? 😦
Meu Sennheiser HD518 mandou lembranças o>

Clean Slate

I MIGHT do a backup and wipe the blog clean, make it a restart, have all my ranting and cursing and complaining and crying out loud out of here.
Call the .zip my Diary v1 and start it fresh, with the Diary v2, with a new take on it all if possible, trying not to be as lazy as I am right now.
Also, perhaps even a weight scale 😉

And now what?

So about 8 years ago GMail launched and with it’s massive 2gb storage came GMAILFS, which allowed me to save my crap into my email like it was an HDD.
At that time I saved 4 songs and a letter to a friend of mine that had disappeared into Spain at the time.
While organizing my Hotmail today I decided to try and fix my messy Gmail account. While doing it I found my files stored there and downloaded them, only to find it corrupted. So I went into YouTube, since I had the song’s name.

That song brought me a flurry of emotions since I could not read that letter, trying to remember all that happened at the time and how uncomplicated life was, even though the living conditions were shittier.

And that’s the interesting part, the emotions, what I was playing at the time, where and with who I was studying, how I fell in love with an revolted girl that I barely knew from the internetz and lived so fucking far away. And how that devastated me and turned me into the horrible human being I am right now.
And that’s why I’ve decided to keep this THING alive, I shall be posting here and every 10 years come back and read what I posted ages ago. I’ll need to keep posting in here since the oldest post dates back to 03/2007 and 2017 is still a couple of years away from now!
For now the memories contained in this blog are too recent for me to not have yet forgotten them.
This should be an interesting life exercise if I can keep writing myself once a week or a month for the remainder of my life, should provide myself with a nice recollection of memories that could even end in a book.

Just out of curiosity I’ll be checking the blog stats to check how many still reads this thing… I expect only ONE even though this post will be announced via Twitter.