“Been dying for a sign when faith has been on the line
When you find your love on wasted grounds
You’re taking to the sound, it’s shelter from the rain”- Tobias Sammet, Shelter from the Rain
Well, after what I knew was coming and tried as hard as I could to ignore or delay it, fate caught up with me a couple of days ago.
We all know how it ends, don’t we?
48h of pure agony, except it wasn’t. I had some backup from unexpected people and places. Even some unexcepted ones and yet all of them told me given time the stomach knot, the pain, the feeling of dead and despair would come to pass.
And it’s come to, well, most of it. There’s still a lingering sensation and every time I see her pic I still get some unexplainable feeling that fades away as fast as it came.Well, I’ve been also told that you’ll remember it for the rest of your life even if it doesn’t hurt.
HOW THE FUCK DO PEOPLE LIVE THAT WAY?!
Well, I’m way better now, past it, with eyes back to normal, still wondering how I got myself into that crazy situation. Well, as it goes, blindness ensued, but not anymore Dana.
Even though I knew what was happening, I tried to keep myself believing it was my imagination, that I was not doing anything wrong, that eventually everything would settle
Well, as it went, the last day was wonderful before it came to a crashing halt, that’s due to the fact that even though it was labelled as an illusion by not me, I finally felt like I had had my feelings corresponded, and it was bloody amazing!
Right now I don’t have the guts to just text you and ask for the text you wrote while thinking about me, or the eventual texts you might come to write and not feel like sending me them.
You know who you are, and if you ever read this, you got my number and my contacts, just give me a hello and I’ll give you my email if you can’t pluck it from my social media profile so I can have that text. It was wonderful even if you denied all those feelings to my face, even if you wished they were true.
This is the first time I’ve felt strong enough to write withouth feeling shit about myself or about the outcome. So, for now, Farewell